Bill Lacovara and his son were fishing off the coast of Atlantic City when they spotted a bag dumped in the ocean. Inside were hundreds of unopened letters to God — some dating back to 1973. Many were still readable, including a man praying to win
the lottery (twice) and an unwed mother praying for the baby’s father to marry her. Lacovara later asked, “How many letters like this all over the world aren’t being opened or answered?” Naturally, he went on to sell the collection on eBay.
This month, 600,000 similar letters from around the world will be sent to FIN-96930
Arctic Cir., Finland — the official address of Santa Claus. In Britain, some children will burn their letters as tradition follows, while children in Latin America fix
them to balloons to float towards the heavenly North Pole. After befriending Santa on Facebook, myself and many other Americans will likely email or text Santa.
Cultural similarities between Santa Claus and God are centuries old. From Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel (where God looks like Santa with a six-pack) to Coca-Cola ads, these two are depicted as jolly, Anglo-Saxon bearded men who punish the naughty, reward the nice and, as Ray Stevens reminded us, are “watchin’ you.” And apparently, Santa battles Satan as well. In a 1959 film, Santa is literally turned into the god-hero when he joins Merlin to fight the Devil, and also in the Cold-War era “Santa Conquers the Martians” — which is pretty self-explanatory.
This decade has found Santa stuck in the chimney of political correctness — rejected by some religious groups for being too secular and by civil liberties groups for being too spiritual. While Santa’s in Australia are currently being told to say “Ha, ha, ha” instead of “Ho, ho, ho” (because it’s derogatory to prostitutes), it is his being a face of Christianity that upsets most secularists. Last month, pets around the country were outraged when PetSmart removed the word “Christmas” from promotions.
As the War on Christmas rages from holiday trees to public schools banning nativity scenes, some foresee a dark liberal day when Santa can’t even say “Ha” (because it’s derogatory to clowns) and he’s censored to the shelves of cyberspace — found only as a toy with highly poseable limbs.
Which is ironic, because the other hero has already been sentenced. At the satirical mcphee.com, you can find an action figure of God, or for $12.95 get the Deluxe Jesus which has “glow in the dark miracle hands” and comes with five miniature loaves and two fish. Jesus’ face has had a recent cultural surge in South Park, Kevin Smith’s “Dogma”, Jesus air fresheners, and Urban Outfitter’s successful “Jesus is My Homeboy” clothing line. Perhaps we should ask Gillian Gibbons about cultural blasphemy. The 54-year-old mother of two was nearly executed by a Sudanese mob last week when her Muslim class named a teddy bear Mohammed. While this offense to Islam was a radical over-reaction, is there any sanctity left in the way we present Christ?
In sharp contrast since being boycotted in 05’ for not saying “Merry Christmas”, Wal-Mart has teamed up with One2Believe, a faith-based manufacturer, and will start selling religious toys this Christmas. In their Battle for the Toybox campaign, they set out to create an alternative to violent action figures, by simply creating violent (Biblical) action figures. A plastic Goliath grips Samson in a chokehold on their site with the caption: “Spirit warriors ($24.99) are big tough toys that boys will love to play with!”
Problematically, the Jesus portrayed in the blasphemous toy market appears no different in the faith-based market. Such is the case with other well-intentioned Christian attempts at staying relevant like Napoleon Dynamite spoofed “Jesus Died For Pedro” t-shirts, the widespread Halloween “Hellhouses”, and church marquees like “Git-R-Done Fer God.” When our dumbed-down presentation of Christianity stoops to what we were fighting to begin with, how can anyone tell the difference? As sermon analogy after analogy compares God to everything from cookies, to maple syrup, to Superman, why should an intellectual think our belief in God is any different than a child’s belief in Santa Claus?
What Bill Lacovara found in the Atlantic is meant for a child’s Santa: some far-off magician to whom we float our wishlists. But God is not our white action figure or our “homeboy,” and when he’s put in a box (especially the kind that include batteries), his existence is trivialized. It sends the message to the world: “God is American — did you know that?” This Christmas let us share true love with every person of every race, without mistakenly creating God in the image of man.
